Friday, May 7, 2010

A Mother's Day Prayer

Mother's Day has been a bittersweet day for me over the last several years. Losing my mom, struggling to become a mom, having a child, and losing 2 children have made this day an emotional one for me. In praying about Mother's Day this year, I asked God to give me the strength to celebrate what is good and honor what is gone. He gave me this poem, so I wrote it. I am by no means a creative writer, so it's not exactly artistic, but it is from my heart and what God gave me to say. I feel a little vulnerable sharing this, but it occurred to me that God never wastes anything and maybe someone else needs to read this. So here it is...

Lord, Can You Be a Mother, Too?

Dear Lord, I know your Word says that you are our heavenly father,
And, I cling to that, I do, but today I need you to be more than my father,
Can you be a mother, too?

Lord, you knew my earthly mom so well, so I know it's not news to you. She was so sad, her heart forever broken. There were many happy times, that's true, but she hurt too much, to give praise to you. I wished, forever hopeful, that your love would break through, but I never saw it... so, now, I hold to hope that she's at peace with you. I miss her so much. I miss the promise of the bond I wished we could share. I feel so lonely in that spot where a mother's love should be.
Lord, can you be my mother, please?

Lord, I wanted so much to be a mommy, and I felt that's what you were calling me to be. I wanted so much to give my children the mother's love that never came to me. But, months went by, and no blessings.
And I asked Lord, can you make me a mother, too?

Lord, you answered, and I gave praise to the heavens for the gift you have given me. My son is the greatest joy I have ever known. Sometimes I doubt that I'm doing a good job.
Lord, can you show me how to be a mother, please?

Lord, I asked again for a child. You answered with twins, but then they were gone in the blink of an eye. I miss the feel of them inside of me. I am so broken.
Who will hold them and love them?
Lord, can you be their mother, too?

.

5 comments:

heathermohr said...

When I read this on the video last night, it brought tears to my eyes. It's just beautiful. I absolutely love it. So much, in fact, I'm wondering if you would be willing to let me add it to my loss songs & poems page? If you'd rather not share, I do understand - so don't worry about that. But it is really a lovely poem.

Thinking of you as Mother's Day approaches.

heathermohr said...

Arg, I had a comment all typed out and I lost it! but I was basically saying I relaly love this poem. When I read it last night it brought me to tears. Simply beautiful.

Thinking of you as Mother's Day approaches. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for you. I understand that "without my baby (or in your case babies)" part, but I don't know what it feels like to lose a mother, and I'm so sorry you know both.

(((hugs)))

Karen said...

I hope your Mother's Day was easy on your heart. I woke up that morning and lifted each one from our class up. It started as a hard day for me, so I felt it may be harder on the rest. But God's grace is sufficient and it ended well.

When I read that on the video the other night, I just cried and cried. This is so beautiful. I am glad you share this so I could read it again and that it may minister to others.

Thinking of you...Karen

The Meuniers said...

Thank you so much, Heather and Karen. Heather, it's fine if you want to share the poem. Karen, my mother's day was really good. We had J's parents out for a visit and it was so much easier than I thought it would be.

Susan said...

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. You have sparked a chord in my heart with this. I think I need to ask the lord to be a mother also.