Mother's Day has been a bittersweet day for me over the last several years. Losing my mom, struggling to become a mom, having a child, and losing 2 children have made this day an emotional one for me. In praying about Mother's Day this year, I asked God to give me the strength to celebrate what is good and honor what is gone. He gave me this poem, so I wrote it. I am by no means a creative writer, so it's not exactly artistic, but it is from my heart and what God gave me to say. I feel a little vulnerable sharing this, but it occurred to me that God never wastes anything and maybe someone else needs to read this. So here it is...Lord, Can You Be a Mother, Too?Dear Lord, I know your Word says that you are our heavenly father,
And, I cling to that, I do, but today I need you to be more than my father,
Can you be a mother, too?
Lord, you knew my earthly mom so well, so I know it's not news to you. She was so sad, her heart forever broken. There were many happy times, that's true, but she hurt too much, to give praise to you. I wished, forever hopeful, that your love would break through, but I never saw it... so, now, I hold to hope that she's at peace with you. I miss her so much. I miss the promise of the bond I wished we could share. I feel so lonely in that spot where a mother's love should be.
Lord, can you be my mother, please?
Lord, I wanted so much to be a mommy, and I felt that's what you were calling me to be. I wanted so much to give my children the mother's love that never came to me. But, months went by, and no blessings.
And I asked Lord, can you make me a mother, too?
Lord, you answered, and I gave praise to the heavens for the gift you have given me. My son is the greatest joy I have ever known. Sometimes I doubt that I'm doing a good job.
Lord, can you show me how to be a mother, please?
Lord, I asked again for a child. You answered with twins, but then they were gone in the blink of an eye. I miss the feel of them inside of me. I am so broken.
Who will hold them and love them?
Lord, can you be their mother, too?
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Is it just me, or is this rocking chair getting a little crowded? Michael's grandparents got him this beautiful chair for his first birthday. He loves to sit in it every day, particularly when we let him watch a Baby Signing Time video (which is really the only tv we allow him to watch). He has recently taken to sharing his chair with his buddies. There is a green frog that Elizabeth gave him and Scout the talking dog. He usually also has his sippy cup with him, too. He watches tv in style, that is for sure!
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